What I Would Tell Myself Before Opening Sage Holistic Counseling

This February marks three years of Sage Holistic Counseling. Three years since I took a leap that felt equal parts terrifying and necessary. Three years since I decided that survival was not enough and that I needed to build something that could actually support me.

When I opened Sage Holistic Counseling, I was not standing on solid ground. I was standing in the aftermath of divorce, leaving a full-time job, moving into my own place, and trying to re learn who I was when everything familiar had fallen away. I started this practice because I needed to support myself financially, emotionally, and professionally. I needed autonomy. I needed safety. I needed a way forward that did not require abandoning myself.

If I could sit across from the version of myself who was about to open Sage Holistic Counseling, here is what I would tell her.

You are exactly where you’re supposed to be

Before opening my practice, I carried so much shame. I thought I was a mess. Late to stability. Late to success. Late to having my life figured out. I compared myself constantly to other people who seemed more established, more confident, more secure. What I know now is that there is no correct timeline for becoming yourself. Starting a private practice in the middle of personal upheaval did not mean I was reckless or unprepared. It meant I was responding to reality. I was listening to my nervous system. I was choosing a path that aligned with what I actually needed instead of what looked ‘fine’ from the outside.

Regulation matters more than your business plan

I spent a lot of time early on trying to outthink uncertainty. I wanted the perfect systems, the perfect website, the perfect clarity before I moved forward. What I learned very quickly is that no amount of planning replaces nervous system safety.

Running a private practice brings uncertainty. Income fluctuates. Clients come and go. Systems break. Marketing does not always work. If your nervous system is already dysregulated, no spreadsheet will save you. What would have helped me more than any business strategy was prioritizing regulation, learning to ride the waves. Slowing down. Getting support. Allowing myself to feel the anxiety, the fear, and the excitement. Treating myself like someone whose well-being mattered just as much as my clients and not a human to-do list. Now, I have accepted that when business inevitably ebbs and flows, I will too. I accept and embrace that I will be frustrated, cry a little, take a nap, and feel better enough to tackle the problem head-on.

You do not have to earn rest to deserve it

One of the hardest beliefs I carried into private practice was that rest had to be justified. I told myself I could slow down once I was more successful. Once my income was more stable. Once I proved to myself that I could do this. Unfortunately, without time to reset, I fell back into default and unhelpful patterns of overscheduling, overworking, and overfunctioning.

What I learned is that instead of trying to do something more when I was exhausted, I learned to ask for help. Asking for help is a requirement in this business. My therapist and business coach reminded me that rest is not a reward. It is a necessity. Sage Holistic Counseling has grown alongside my willingness to stop being ‘good’ or ‘perfect’  and start listening to my own needs. The practice became more sustainable when I did. My clinical work became deeper when I allowed myself to be more human.

If I could go back, I would tell myself to find safety in stillness, practice finding comfort in rest, and ask for help figuring out what was truly restful for me.

You are allowed to build something that fits you

When I opened my practice, I needed to make certain decisions to find stability amongst my personal chaos. I made the best decisions for myself and my business with the information I had at the time. Sometimes, this meant that I defaulted into working 40+ hour weeks to do things ‘the right way. Even though I was squeezing myself into models that did not fit.

Over time, Sage Holistic Counseling became a reflection of my values instead of my fear. I chose to specialize in therapy for therapists, helpers, and caregivers. I chose to ask for help from respected mentors. I changed my practice systems and policies to practice in a way that honored boundaries, depth, and sustainability. As I learned, I am both the problem and the solution.

You are allowed to build a practice that fits your body, your values, and your life. You are allowed to say no to models that exploit your labor. You are allowed to choose alignment over hustle. You are allowed to change what isn’t working at any time.

You will grieve versions of yourself along the way

Growth is not just expansion. It is a loss. As this practice grew, I had to let go of versions of myself that were shaped by survival. The version who over functioned. The version who over explained. The version who believed being needed was the same as being valued.

That grief surprised me. Even when growth is chosen, it can still be painful. Letting go of old identities can feel destabilizing, even when they no longer serve you. Realizing that relationships may no longer serve you is upsetting, even if you willingly walk away. I am allowed to grow and change while also holding tender sadness for past versions of me.

Clients will trust you because you are human, not because you are perfect

Early in my career, I believed I needed to be polished and composed at all times to be taken seriously. I am embarrassed now to think about the overly formal outfits I wore and the worry over crafting the most perfectly worded emails. What I have learned is that clients do not connect to perfection. They connect to presence, to admitting that you are having a higher pain day, and to acknowledging that you are losing objectivity because your stories are too similar.

Sage Holistic Counseling exists because people trusted me with their stories. Their burnout. Their fear. Their exhaustion. Their hope. That trust was not built through having it all together. It was built through authenticity, boundaries, and care.

You will become more yourself than you ever expected

This practice did more than change my career. It changed me. It taught me how to trust myself. How to take up space. How to choose sustainability over self-sacrifice. How to build a life that supports my nervous system instead of draining it.

Three years in, I am more myself than I was when I started. More grounded. More clear. More willing to honor my limits. More committed to the values that shaped this work in the first place.

A final note

If you are considering doing something scary like leaving a marriage, quitting a job, or living by yourself for the first time, please know that you do not have to do it the hard way. You do not have to abandon yourself to succeed. You do not have to wait until everything falls apart to choose something different.

Sage Holistic Counseling exists because I chose myself in a moment when it felt risky to do so. Three years later, I am deeply grateful that I did.

If you are a therapist, helper, or caregiver who is struggling with burnout, perfectionism, or people pleasing, this work is for you. And if you are standing on the edge of something new, I hope this reminds you that you are allowed to build a life and a practice that actually supports you.